We’re going on three years since I started living by myself. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect because I’ve always had roommates since moving out of my parents’ house. There’s always been someone else to talk to, help problem solve, make the space feel more like a home instead of a temporary place, keep everything running smoothly, etc.

QUICK SHOUT OUT AND THROW BACK TO MY GIRLZ HANNY AND STERPH. I miss y’all and Cat Cat One.

(Also, honorary shout out to my girl Hanna Q. We were only roommates for 3 weeks, but you’re an awesome roommate too and not just because you also go to bed at 8:30 p.m. every night lol.)

ANYWAYS.

Recently, I was asked if I like living alone and what my experience has been. After some reflection, I realized these past few years have taught me quite a bit about myself and life lessons in general.

Hales Lessons

Being my own roommate has been quite an experience. You learn a lot about yourself when it’s just you hanging out with you for the majority of time.

Lesson 1: I can kill bugs and spiders. (Most of the time.)

To this day my family will tell you I have “insect fear.” Though I only agree to an extent, I have two childhood memories that will mildly justify this irrational fear. One time, after swimming in my aunt’s pool, I could feel something moving in my ear canal and to no surprise because I was a melodramatic little shit, my dad thought it was just water. However, even if i wasn’t moving, the thing in my ear was. So, to humor me, Johnny gently stuck a hydrogen peroxide-soaked cotton swab in my eAR AND OUT CRAWLED A FREAKING BEETLE. TO WHICH MY DAD SAID, “OH MY GOD.” CORRECT, JOHN. OH EM GEE THERE’S A MOTHER FREAKIN BEETLE IN MY EAR LIKE. I. SAID. Story two, we had an earwig problem at my childhood home one summer. Those fuckers were just EVERYWHERE. I was having cereal out of one of those bowls that had a built-in straw, so that you could drink the cereal-infused milk afterwards (cue “90s kids will remember” Buzzfeed article). Welp, as I was about to dig into the cereal, guess what came crawling out of the MF straw…? Correct. An earwig. SO, I know I’m a bit bias, but I think my irrational dislike/fear of insects back in the day was justified. However, living alone, I’ve learned no one else is here to kill the little crawly shits. It’s on me to remove them from my home. So, ya girl has become a decently-confident bug killer. The only one that threw me for a whirl was a silver fish. If you don’t know what those are, Google it. I dare you.

Lesson 2: I don’t like to wear shoes in the house.

I won’t lie, I have become a mild germaphobe in the recent years. Not Howie Mendel level, but if you need hand sanitizer, I’m your girl. Which leads me to shoes in the house. Do you ever think about all of the places your shoes go throughout the day? Salt-covered sidewalks, gym locker rooms, PUBLIC FREAKING BATHROOMS! The bottoms of your shoes are an atrocious mess of bacteria that, personally, I don’t want to bring into my tiny apartment. Think of it this way, you walk around the house in your shoes for a bit and then a few hours later you’re walking barefoot through that same grime your shoes left behind. THEN, you get into your bed. Technically, you just brought bacteria from a public bathroom into your bed… How’re you going to sleep tonight knowing that?

(Also, I want to take a moment to apologize to Steph lol. I’m sorry I wore shoes at Copper Beech which made walking in the kitchen only 789843x louder in your room. Karma has done its job tho and put the loudest MF walker in the apartment above me…)

Lesson 3: I am an ambivert.

I know this one may surprise some of you due to how outgoing I can be, but it’s true. After living by myself for a while, I realized I am an ambivert, borderline introvert. I always used to think I was an extrovert. Not only because my Myers Brigg’s test usually comes out as ENFP, but I have a track record of being fairly outgoing and social. What I’ve learned though is just because someone is outgoing, doesn’t mean they draw their energy from being around other people. Don’t get me wrong, I love going out and having fun with people, but I can literally pinpoint the moment in time when I can feel my energy draining and all I want to do is go home and be by myself. I recharge by being alone, which is a perk when you’re living that sans roommate life.

Lesson 4: I function way better when I go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

This isn’t really a lesson, just a theory that I’ve had for a while and can now confidently say it’s true. :)

General Lessons Applicable for Life

Lesson 1: Make your needs known.

It took me a while to learn this one. When I moved into my quaint lil apartment, the water pressure from my kitchen sink was pathetic. I figured it’s just that it was just one of those “quirky Ann Arbor” things I had to deal with living in an old apartment. So, I just went about my way for almost a year and a half hand washing my dishes with the saddest water pressure ever. Last summer, I finally put in a maintenance request that my sink’s water pressure was pathetic. You wanna know what happened…? Turns out, my pipes were old and bad, so they replaced those as well as gave me an entirely new faucet with a built-in retractable handle. I know this one might sound like a no brainer, but I don’t think enough of us voice our needs enough. No one should ever feel guilty about voicing their needs either. It doesn’t make you demanding, it makes you transparent and the situation better for all of those involved. So, if you’re uncomfortable with a situation or maybe you need more from someone in a relationship (platonic or romantic), be transparent, speak your needs and see what happens.

Lesson 2: Dr. Bronner’s Castile Soap is magic.

This one I actually learned yesterday while I was cleaning my kitchen (which happens to be more of a kitchenette as it is only one wall of my living room). My sink is white and can start to look tan or brown towards the end of the week as things like coffee, tea, etc. stain the bottom of it. Usually I use a small drop of bleach to clean it, but in this new year, I am trying to be more mindful about the chemicals I use, especially ones going down the sink. So, yesterday I grabbed the random bottle of Dr. Bronner’s Castile Soap that was left behind by the girl I took this lease over for, and poured a bit into my kitchen sink. And by golly, WOULDN’T YA KNOW, it cleaned that thing better than any other chemical I’ve used in there to remove the stains.

So, moral of this story, if you’re trying to find safer cleaning products, Dr. Bronner’s is bomb.

Lesson 3: How to properly and effectively insulate a window air conditioner for the winter.

This was a “third time’s the charm” kind of lesson lol because it took me three years to perfect. This is the first time I’ve ever had a window air conditioner (really not a fan. (no pun intended)) and when winter rolls around you have to cover it on the inside to prevent the White Walkers from seeping through. (Because winter is here… get it? lol or should I say GoT it? LOL) The first year, as a novice, it was a disaster. The indoor cover I ordered from Amazon never came, so instead I decided to SARAN WRAP THE SHIT out of this thing. It was literally a mess of saran wrap and packing tape - kind of like one of Dexter’s victims but without the blood. After about a month of that not working as well as I hoped, I decided to tape a few unopened garbage bags over the saran wrap which sufficed. Year two of this sad series, I just went straight in with the garbage bags and packing tape. I think it probably had about 5 layers of garbage bags over it.** Way more successful than year one, but room for improvement for sure as I was missing one key component. Fast forward to 2018, I felt like a pro walking into JoAnn Fabrics with my 10% off coupon to buy scrap fabric to use as an insulator. The purple tie-dyed fleece went underneath the layers of trash bags this year, and that, my friends, is how you insulate your window air conditioner on a budget. :)

**I carefully take down the trash bag layers in the spring and use them as intended. I don’t waste them.

So, to wrap things up, I do like living alone. I also like living with roommates. There’s pros and cons to everything, but I figured I’d share some of the lessons I’ve learned through this experience. Honestly, there’s about 3243920 other lessons I’ve learned like how to grocery shop when eating for one, what are the essential tools everyone should have on hand (Philips Head screw driver fo’sho.), etc. but everyone’s experience is different. So, if there’s something you’ve learned while living alone, please share! I love learning life hacks/lessons from other people too.

Until my next sub-par written blog. :) pz. out.

“I’m tired.”

A phrase most of us hear daily and have definitely used in a few different contexts. According to my handy dandy Google search, the word “tired” can mean:

In need of sleep or rest
- As in: I’m tempted to take a nap in my car at lunch because I’m so tired today.
Bored with/fed up with
- As in: I am so tired of people saying pineapple shouldn’t go on pizza.
No longer fresh or in good condition
- As in: The Uggs you used to wear in middle school looked tiiiired.

Gave ya some examples in case you needed it used in a sentence. :)

Today though, my friends, we are going to focus on the first definition — needing sleep or rest.

Most people who have been in my life for a while or that I’m close to know that I have a chronic sleep disorder called Narcolepsy. For those of you who are unfamiliar or are quickly jumping to the wrong assumption that it’s the same thing as epilepsy, no need to worry. Hales is here to educate and inform.

Narcolepsy is excessive, uncontrollable daytime sleepiness.

It’s an incredibly overlooked, under diagnosed disorder and is more common than you’d expect. Though I eventually plan to dive deeper into my own experience with the disorder in a future post, I figured I’d start out with some of the facts.

So, today we’re going to bust some myths and spill some tea on this chronic sleep disorder.

*Cue Sleeping Beauty in Ghost Busters uniform because why not?*

Masterpiece drawn by my girl, Dilly Dalian.

All right, y’all. Let’s bust some myths.

Myth 1: Narcolepsy is a comical disorder that has been portrayed 100% accurately in the movies.

I remember watching Rat Race as a kid and the one character was so excited to be ahead of everyone else until all of a sudden, he’d stop dead in his tracks and fall asleep standing up. Though falling asleep mid-conversation is something that can happen, it’s not necessarily a daily occurrence. Plus, narcolepsy comes with an array of not-so fun symptoms in addition to all of the annoying sleepiness.

Myth 2: People with narcolepsy fall asleep all the time and can sleep whenever.

Even after being diagnosed with Narcolepsy, there was about four years where I was free balling the nighttime without a medication. Once I was put on a medication that puts me out at night, I realized how little I had been sleeping and how often I was waking up at night. Though people with narcolepsy struggle with extreme sleepiness during the day, a huge issue also experienced is disrupted nighttime sleep. It’s truly doing the most to make sure we aren’t getting sufficient sleep.

Myth 3: Being able to nap/sleep whenever would be nice.

False, my friend. So incredibly false. I was watching Family Feud not too long ago (last night. It was last night.) and one of the questions was something along the lines of “Where is the worst place to fall asleep?” and to no one’s surprise, “Work” was the number one answer. The incredibly strong physical feelings that come along with a sleep spell (or micro nap - whatever you want to call it) are so uncomfortable and unwelcome. Imagine having to excuse yourself from a meeting at work, so that your will eyes quit going out of focus, your speech will stop slurring and you don’t fall asleep on the table in front of your colleagues. It’s definitely not a luxury, especially when you cannot control the timing of your next micro nap.

Myth 4: Sleepiness = laziness.

I was never great at math, but I’m confident in calling some bullshit on this one. Go without sleep for about 2-3 days straight and that’s how a person with narcolepsy feels every day. It’s something we cannot control and is definitely not a sign of laziness. Besides, narcolepsy aside, one thing I learned a while ago during an internship in college from my mentor, the wonderful Erin, if you see someone who you know is normally a hard worker struggling to stay awake, maybe you should ask if he/she is okay. Maybe he/she is having a hard time at home or isn’t feeling well. You never know what someone is going through, so before assuming the sleepiness automatically means laziness, maybe check on the person first.

And, last but not least.

Myth 5: There’s a cure!

Though scientists are learning a lot more about this neurological autoimmune disorder that causes the gradual loss of neurons called hypocretin (or orexin), they haven’t quite found a cure for it yet. You cannot detect it from a blood test and the experience is incredibly different for everyone. So, what might work for one person (medications, etc.) may not work for the next person.

Well there ya have it. Five high-level myths about narcolepsy. If you’re ever interested in learning more, I highly recommend the book “Wide Awake and Dreaming: Memoir of Narcolepsy” by Julie Flygare. It’s an incredibly accurate and detailed book that helped people in my life understand truly what I’ve gone and continue to go through daily. s

Available here on Amazon, if you’re interested in a quick, but informational read. :)

Shout out to JF for her incredibly helpful website that inspired me to write this post as well.

For the record, I love talking about my experience with narcolepsy since most people aren’t very familiar with the disorder and I still plan to write a future post about my own personal experience with it. In the meantime though, please feel free to ask me questions and I’d be happy to spill some more of that Sleepy Time Tea. :)

Lease for one, please.